Ian Dury And The Blockheads Lyrics of the Cacka Boom track

If you're cold, well here's a plan:

Pull the plug out of your fan

If you're hot, now here's a scheme:

Park your botty in the stream

If you're tired, check this plot:

Seek a source that hits the spot

If you're snooty, here's a ploy

Stroll along the hoi polloi

You'll not have owt to show for it

If you don't go for it

You'll have to come to terms with it,

Get on the firm with it

If you don't get to grips with it,

You've had your chips with it

You'll only come to rue it if you don't do it



If you're lost, well try this notion:

Find yourself a magic potion

If you're angry, check this wheeze:

Count to ten and then say, 'cheese'

If you're uptight here's the answer:

Learn to be a belly-dancer

If you're concerned, suss a wangle:

Try it from a different angle

Now you can put a name to it,

You must lay claim to it

You'll have time to regret it,

If you don't go and get it

You won't have much to talk about

If you don't go on walkabout

Don't think you won't mind it

If you don't try and find it



No-one said you must be good as gold

It's what you haven't done

That matters when you're old

No-one said these things are pre-ordained

Nothing ventured...



If you're guilty, cop a stroke:

You only did it for a joke

If you're dozy, here's a tactic:

Tell 'em all they're too didactic

If you're fed up, here's a wrinkle:

Let your piano forte tinkle

If you're wobbling here's a trick:

Happy go toilet, click, click, click

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Album index

  • The Roadette Song lyrics
  • The Mumble Rumble And The Cocktail Rock lyrics
  • Apples lyrics
  • Uncoolohol lyrics
  • Ballad Of The Sulphate Strangler lyrics
  • Ban The Bomb lyrics
  • The Badger And The Rabbit lyrics
  • Billericay Dickie lyrics
  • Blackmail Man lyrics
  • Your Horoscope lyrics
  • Twenty Tiny Fingers Sore Throat Mix lyrics
  • Two Old Dogs Without A Name lyrics
  • Waiting For Your Taxi lyrics
  • Very Personal lyrics
  • Upminster Kid lyrics
  • Wake Up And Make Love With Me lyrics
  • Rough Kids lyrics
  • Oh, Mr. Peanut lyrics
  • One Love lyrics
  • Peter The Painter lyrics
  • No Such Thing As Love lyrics
  • Poo-Poo In The Prawn lyrics
  • My Old Man lyrics
  • Quick Quick Slow lyrics
  • Quiet lyrics
  • Really Glad You Came lyrics
  • Plaistow Patricia lyrics
  • Honeysuckle Highway lyrics
  • Huffety Puff lyrics
  • I Believe lyrics
  • I Could Lie lyrics
  • I Made Mary Cry lyrics
  • If I Was With A Woman lyrics
  • Itinerant Child lyrics
  • Jack Shit George lyrics
  • London Talking lyrics
  • Mash It Up Harry lyrics
  • Mischief lyrics
  • Father lyrics
  • Delusions Of Grandeur lyrics
  • Fuck Off Noddy lyrics
  • Dance Little Rude Boy lyrics
  • Dance Of The Screamers lyrics
  • Fucking Ada lyrics
  • Cowboys lyrics
  • Cacka Boom lyrics
  • Broken Skin lyrics
  • Hey, Hey, Take Me Away lyrics
  • Sink My Boats lyrics
  • Sweet Gene Vincent lyrics
  • Thank You Mum lyrics
  • Fly In The Ointment lyrics
  • Blockheads lyrics
  • Heavy Living lyrics
  • Happy Hippy lyrics
  • Geraldine lyrics
  • Funky Disco (Pops) lyrics
  • The (Body Song) lyrics
  • Have A Word lyrics
  • Spasticus (Autisticus) lyrics
  • Dance Of The Crackpots lyrics
  • Clever Trevor lyrics
  • Hit Me With Your Rythym Stick lyrics
  • Lullaby For Francies lyrics
  • I Want To Be Straight lyrics
  • Profoundly In Love With Pandora lyrics
  • Pardon lyrics
  • Poor Joey lyrics
  • Uneasy Sunny Day Hotsy Totsy lyrics
  • Crippled With Nerves lyrics
  • Billy Bentley (Promenades Himself Around London) lyrics
  • The Passing Show lyrics
  • Back To Blighty lyrics